"I hope you will go out and let stories happen to you, and that you will work them, water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. " ~Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Friday, December 20, 2013

contemplation on a year

I have been thinking upon the new calendar year that is approaching, and as I always do, I find myself holding great hope that somehow it will be the magical, blessings-filled year that is full of rainbows and sunshine and no hardships. Every year I find myself saying to friends, "Oh, how this year sucked. This coming year will be the year for us!" Fast forward the year, and those words are uttered again... and again... on rinse-and-repeat. Every. Bloomin'. Year.

This morning a dawning realization hit. What if it's not the year that is the problem, but me? My mindset, my issue(s). Did my year really suck? Yes, there were hardships, but isn't that the way of life? If we don't have the rain, we can't have the rainbows. Yes, there were times that were not so great, but why am I letting those moments override all of the beauty? I made new friends; I kept long-time friends. I learned new things; I deepened my understanding of things I've known for ages. I experienced great joy along with the great sadness. This is Life... in all its depth and expansion. No year will ever ride 100% smoothly because that is not what keeps us growing. There will be moments that rob us of our breath, and there will be moments where we are filled with so much that we are bursting. And that is where the beauty and amazement lie... in those moments, and everything in between.

So, I am closing out 2013 differently. I am saying thank you to the Goddess for all that She has given me. The times that stretched me to my limits, and the times that lifted me to my heights. For all the mundane moments. For all the inspired moments. For the depression. For the happiness. For my lessons learned, and for the lessons not quite learned. For my spark when it was dimmed. For my spark when it was shining brightly. For the times when my faith is strong, and for the times it has been shaken. For my family, for my Sisters of spirit and heart, for my dear friends that sing me my song when I've forgotten how it goes.

2013 was filled with many things: Some bad, a lot of good, and always filled with love. And that is the way of it.

Celebrate your lives this year, all of it. Breathe it in; wiggle down into it. Let yourself wallow in it and let yourself soar above it. Allow your soul to sing each and every part. And know that 2014 will bring its own challenges, and you will rise to meet them. It will also bring its own joys and you will rejoice in them. And you will have love, whether it comes from someone else or from deep within yourself. You will have love, and that is EVERYTHING.



Be blessed,
Adara

Thursday, December 12, 2013

december morn: a small stone

each blade of grass
and fallen leaf
encased in frosty glitter
shimmering in the warming sun



Monday, November 18, 2013

gilded geese: a small stone

A gaggle of geese fly overhead, their wings rhythmically resonating,
echoing the whooshing sound of a heartbeat.
Wings and bellies gilded peachy-gold in the setting sun.




Thursday, November 7, 2013

autumn kiss: a small stone

Autumn's colors are muted this morning, with the sky blanketed in grey and drops of cool rain kissing the last blushing leaves.




Friday, November 1, 2013

Mindful Writing Day 2013

Awash in flame: deep red, burnt orange, golden yellow. A soft wind whispers through, and the leaves drift like wayward sparks to the ground.



Thursday, October 17, 2013

good morning song: a small stone

My eyes open to the quiet, calm dark. Crickets chirp as other insects hum the morning awake. Gentle raindrops hit the leaves of trees that are contemplating their winter slumber. A lone bird trills.



Monday, October 14, 2013

small stone: grapevine meets autumn

Once lush and clinging, spiraled tendrils reaching upward,
burgeoning with life,
Leaves are now brown, curled edges moving inward,
the vines withering,
Fruits returning to seed for another season.



Monday, October 7, 2013

you

Life has me pondering a lot lately. With a hefty dose of mediation grounding me. This is my message tonight:

Go out and be you, whoever that is. Love yourself, embrace yourself, show no fear in being yourself. You are here for a reason. Even if some people don't get you... it's all good. You are here-- here on this plane-- to be YOU. No one else can do it. No one else can touch someone the way that you can. You may never even know the extent! So, take a deep breath... sally forth... be the best you that ever was. And it will be enough.

It will be more than enough.


It will be stunning.


Friday, September 27, 2013

small stone: mockingbird moment

With a fluff of feathers and a flick of beak,
the mockingbird settles into his afternoon bath.
Head at a cocky angle, he gazes at me,
wondering why I am so rude as to watch his ablutions.
He carries on despite my prying eyes, warm in his golden sunbeam,
then flits away on the cool autumn breeze.



Tuesday, September 24, 2013

small stones: a meadow

A few days ago, I drove past a meadow
that was covered in mist
and dotted with dandelions,
with geese happily milling about.

Today, it sat empty and forlorn,
shorn of its lovely green locks
and bright adornments.





Sunday, September 8, 2013

nature's all a-buzz

cicadas buzz
the sound of a thousand little chainsaws
filling the air


Friday, September 6, 2013

rabbit dawn

Both of us up before the sun, the rabbit and I greet each other in the dark, early morning fog. He regards me with a wary understanding, ears cocked. Then he bounds away to start his day, away from the prying eyes of wakeful humans clutching steaming mugs of coffee.



Thursday, September 5, 2013

shadows, dappled

The evening sun sends dappled shadows dancing across my window sill.
I pause, thankful for the deep beauty.


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

unknown possibility

The fog sits thickly on branches this morning, obscuring my view.
I remind myself that the unknown holds great possibility...



Tuesday, September 3, 2013

late georgia summer

Summer clings tight to the land,
Humidity hangs heavy.
Colors rich and vibrant.
Lushness fills the air.
The permeating buzz of insect song does battle with the song of power tools...
The insects win.


Saturday, August 24, 2013

a teasing, a shifting...
uncertainty and expectation.
sensation of rabbit holes
and pocket-watches
invisible, knowing grins.


Friday, August 9, 2013

open for me, love

Life has this way of cracking you open. Finding chinks in your armor and splitting it wide, cutting you in the process. At first you think the wound is too bad, too big... and that old armor feels so constrictive, you can't even breathe. Then it all falls off. Sometimes it happens in one fell swoop... other times, the armor falls off over the course of years, and you don't even realize it until the last pieces begin to drop. The end result is finally you see that you never really needed all that armor in the first place.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that every person who comes into our lives serves a purpose. The circumstances all vary, but I think the bottom line is that everything... EVERYTHING... is here to guide us to Love. To open our hearts and our minds. To get us to expand bigger than we ever thought we could. To recognize that our capacity to love is greater than we ever could have dreamed. To understand that ways of loving are as wide and varied as all the different beings on our planet. And we need all those types of loving to truly experience and feel all that life has to offer. The beauty, the pain, the laughter, the tears, it's all part of the whole.

Lessons have come hard and fast this year. Each one cracking me open just a bit more. Each one teaching me, just a bit more, to open... to love.


you have to keep breaking your heart until it opens. ~rumi 

photo by Adara Bryn

Thursday, August 1, 2013

small stone: stories inside


'Tis a foolish heart I have.
If someone were to peer into it one day,
what stories they would find, tucked away into nooks and crannies.
Pages dotted with salty punctuation marks.




Wednesday, July 31, 2013

small stone: of droplets and promised sun

I sink my feet into the damp earth, seeing the grass unfurl its rich green between my toes. I swear I hear an owl. At 10 in the morning? He must be as confused as I am. The ash grey clouds hang heavy above, and flick drops of water at my head. A blade of grass is weighed down by droplets that seem too heavy for it to bear. I tell it that I understand, and that the sun will come out soon to lighten its load. It whispers the same message back to me. We have an understanding, that blade and I.



Saturday, July 27, 2013

Thursday, June 20, 2013

an anthem



Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is!



Wednesday, June 19, 2013

on a wing and a prayer: a small stone

In a moment, you took a breath and became...
in that same moment, I took a breath and became.

In all the days that went on endlessly,
time played a trick and passed before I could breathe again.

And now, all in another breath, you take flight,
my heart soaring with you.

Fly strong, my darlings.

Fly...



Thursday, June 6, 2013

stones and arrows

the notes hit my ears
falling
weighing heavy
stones in my heart

the words swirl in my head
piercing
barbed, sharp
arrows in my heart

tonight music is not my refuge





Wednesday, June 5, 2013

floodgates: a small stone

A wicked flash, a deafening boom.
The skies release the floodgates...
And with it,
My own floodgates burst open,
Washing me clean.



Friday, May 31, 2013

ramblings


life spins so fast
a demented merry go 'round
sometimes crazy fun
sometimes just plain insanity
a moment to catch your breath
the next, to lose it

my heart... what do i say of it?
it's big. it's bold. it's open. (sometimes slammed shut... tight... closed for business)
perhaps, at times, too much of all of the above
i'm not sure that it fits in this world
what i want is not what we're supposed to want
certainly not what we're supposed to do

i want the stars, the moon, the sun
pulsing, glowing, brilliance
i want...
i just....
want


Monday, May 27, 2013

flames burn the wood slow






a small stone, full of cracks

sitting still in the moment, looking for the wisdom
taking inventory of my cracks, wondering where the light will come in
it always does, you know
though sometimes a bit filtered... hesitant light coming through still-heavy storm clouds


Thursday, May 16, 2013

whirlpool: a small stone



words are lost in a myriad of thoughts
emotions swirl like eddies in the sea of me
reaching into the whirlpool
i try to grab a few
hoping they'll come together
into something that makes sense



Monday, May 13, 2013

you got this, woman


Tonight is a night where I find myself struggling as an artist. One of those moments when I am faced with just how much I have to learn... and it is overwhelming. I am throwing my hands up to the Universe and letting the words fly:

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BLOODY HELL I AM DOING!

I need to figure out production. I need to refresh my memory on music theory. I need to work on my ear. I need to take piano lessons. I need to get better on guitar.  I need to bloody work on my vocals.  

In other words:  I need to go back to school. Somehow, some way I will figure it out. I've been taking MOOC classes, but it's not enough. I need a good, solid program. Berklee. I want to be in you.

Feeling so utterly discouraged right now, but at the same time, utterly determined. I can do this. I know I can. This cat always lands on her feet, and there is no way in hell I'm going to give up on this. Must keep putting one foot in front of the other.




Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.  ~Louis Pasteur


Monday, May 6, 2013

one ray at a time

Popped a large, whole strawberry in my mouth. Pushed my tongue into the center of it, letting it come apart, juices spilling in tart sweetness. A mouthful of joy.

Summer is coming, loves. In all its heat, beauty, and passion. Let the sun shine in.


a small raindrop stone


If I cross my eyes just so, the brake lights in front of me turn the raindrops into starry red glitter, dancing across my windshield.



Sunday, May 5, 2013

hush now. or don't.

There are times when my heart and soul scream out to express things. And my logic screams back, "Shut the bloody eff up before someone hears you!"

Be quiet, girl.

You aren't supposed to think that.

You aren't supposed to feel that.

You aren't supposed to be that.

Girl, just be quiet.




Damn, if this woman isn't tired of being quiet.




Friday, May 3, 2013

morning's song and dance: a small stone

I stand at the window, watching the sky shift
Midnight blue to sapphire
Sapphire to cornflower
Birds swoop and dive
Savoring their morning dance with each other
Chittering their hellos, squawking their warnings
 - Lay off, buddy, that's my breakfast -
As the light comes, they greet the sun with a song
The colors make one last change,
    a simple light blue that carries promises,

And dawn is here.




Tuesday, April 30, 2013

a small stone crashes through

Stormy grey-blue crashes over me,
Streaked with shots of electric white.
Booming thunder resounds through my head
Rendering me speechless, breathless,
but with a mind that reverberates amplified feedback
And nothing to do with it.





grey silk: a small stone

The dawn attempts to break through the darkness
But only reveals heavy mists, blanketing all
In silky wisps of grey.





Thursday, April 25, 2013

a small stone moment


in this moment, the heart sighs
exchanging midnight blue wishes
for something not yet defined




Wednesday, April 24, 2013

breaking open

It's been a while since I posted something other than Small Stones...  life has been a bit of a whirlwind, and it's been difficult to do more than the occasional mindful awareness moment.

I've been breaking open. Shaking loose, I guess you could say. An opportune moment came for me to take a songwriting class, and that seems to have finally shifted things within. And probably on the outer, as well. Everything has opened up over the last six weeks and there has been a myriad of emotions that have gone with it. Excitement, frustration, joy, a few tears, one moment strong, the next moment weak... and the sensation of being so utterly raw from it all.

"There is a crack, a crack in everything 
That's how the light gets in." ~Leonard Cohen


I've re-shaped my ideas of what I want my life to look like, and now the hard work begins of figuring out how to make it all happen. And to do so without getting too attached to outcomes. That's always the fun part.

Changes are on the horizon. In quite a few areas. If you need me, look for the woman riding the waves, trying to remember to breathe...



Tuesday, April 23, 2013

a small stone

When the head and heart are foggy, there is nothing quite like a walk in gentle breezes and golden sunlight to help chase the swirling mists away. The whispers of confusion may still tease at the edges, but the breath comes easier...


Friday, April 12, 2013

the dawn: a small stone


Dawn is breaking. The whir of a bicycle passing. The air is washed clean from the pounding rains of the night. Birds singing to my soul. Sitting in peace, in this one perfect moment...


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

an 'Elfje'...




Tingling
The dream
Beckons to me
Soul dancing heart soaring
Embrace






Monday, April 1, 2013

an experiment


 Book Spine Poetry





Persuasion (to be)
on the road...
(a) desert solitaire.
(Seeking my) rhapsody
(and) destiny.





Sunday, March 24, 2013

greeting dawn: a small stone

the bird sings morning into existence
heart opens to the day



Wednesday, March 20, 2013

open gladness: a small stone

My heart greets Spring with an open gladness. The Winter was cold, dark, and harsh in its lessons, but the light and warmth always returns. Today is a day of balance and peace, stillness; an integration.

The world begins to blossom, and I with it.


Thursday, March 14, 2013

Sunday, March 10, 2013

remember

My words have been stuck. Can't seem to find what I want to say. I get like this when I don't meditate; when I let the noise crowd my brain. Time to bring the focus in a bit, yet expand at the same time. Time to see what is around me and to let it see me. Time to breathe in the world and and to exhale all that I am, and all that I will be.

Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.... 



Time to get back to the writer in me. The musician in me. Shut out the outside world, and remember.

Yes... the Muse voice whispers...

REMEMBER.



Saturday, March 2, 2013

gentle grace: a small stone

my heart is feeling tender
be gentle with me, it says
surround me in soft words and beauty
hold me close
do not let me fall
give me peace away from
those aches and pains of the outside world
tomorrow i shall be stronger
for the grace given today



Tuesday, February 26, 2013

mended and free: a small stone

today, a discovery.
broken wings healed,
ready to unfold,
spread under the hot-bright glory of the sun.
to soar unburdened and free,
pieces made whole.


Thursday, February 21, 2013

small stone: trees-in-waiting


Spiny seedpod cracks open to the sun.
Little fluffs of white revealed,
ready to take flight on a breeze.
A nibble for a curious bird?
Or perhaps a tree-in-waiting,
looking for its soil.



Wednesday, February 20, 2013

small stone: no one alive that is you-er than you

There is always someone who will do it better:
Louder, brighter, softer, darker.
With more eloquence and depth.

The little voice within whispers, reminding:
Do not let it silence you...
Keep learning, keep growing. Keep creating.
The words will come, the music will come.

You will become.




Tuesday, February 19, 2013

breath of fire

The past few weeks have been a rush of ups, downs, passions, lethargy, moving forward only to move backwards... then forward again. Purpose, lack of purpose, purpose found once more. Frustrations, elation.

Sometimes I think I'm a little insane.

Then I think we're all a lot insane.

And then I realize it's just life.

Sometimes we're living in the past, sometimes we're living in the future, and every once in a while we find ourselves smack dab in the present, where we should be more often. But, then again, time is not linear, as much as we try to make it so. We all have a foot in some other time, some other place... whether we realize it, or not. We're all going to be a little stuck in the things that "were", dreaming of the things that "might be", and, hopefully, appreciating and being open to the things that "are".

More and more, I'm hearing the drum beat of my heart. Hearing the song of my soul. My love is for singing, dancing, writing. And I have to keep on keeping on with all of that if I'm going to live up to my purpose here on Earth. I trust that doors are going to open, that I will soar if I simply do what I love. Today, I release all attachments to outcome. Today, I trust my inner wisdom. Today, I open myself to life and all that it brings.

Today, I breathe in this quote, and let myself fly!

“I want to live the rest of my life, however long or short, with as much sweetness as I can decently manage, loving all the people I love, and doing as much as I can of the work I still have to do. I am going to write fire until it comes out of my ears, my eyes, my noseholes--everywhere. Until it's every breath I breathe. I'm going to go out like a fucking meteor!” ~Audre Lorde


Sunday, February 17, 2013

Saturday, February 16, 2013

breaking the chain

The title of this blog is "Shake It Loose". I started it with the intention of allowing myself to get real. To get down and dirty with my thoughts, my words, my feelings, my healing. To shake loose all the words that are trapped inside; to shake loose all the emotions and feelings. So, I would be remiss if I didn't allow myself to shake this very quiet part of me loose.

As my friends on Facebook know, I've been a posting fiend about the One Billion Rising cause. Like so many others, I have had it with the violence and the misogyny and all the other atrocities that women in our world undergo on a daily basis. I grabbed hold of this cause with both of my hands, my heart, my dancing body, and I let it fly like the wind. But here is why... the 'why' that only a few know. If I am going to ask others to break the silence, then I can only ask the same of myself. And here it is:

I get the message of One Billion Rising, because I am "one of the three".  I am the one to break the chain in my family. As a child, I was sexually abused by my brother... who was sexually abused by my birth mother (whom I haven't seen since the age of 7)... who was sexually abused by her father. And who knows if the chain goes even further back from there? It matters, but it doesn't. What matters, to me, is that it STOPS with me. And what also matters is that I do anything and everything possible to take a stand to help it end for even just one more woman.

My wish is that girls and women everywhere know their worth. Their beauty. Their depth. That they know respect, nurturing, safety, and support. That they know their body is theirs, and theirs alone. That they know equality, and love. That they know they have something wonderful to give the world, and that the world will give them something in kind. That they know they matterTheir voice matters; their heart matters.

Because, here's the deal:  I finally have an inkling that I matter. And while it's been a long, hard road to get here, every painful, tear-filled step has been worth it. And so I will keep singing, I will keep dancing, and I will keep rising. And I will be holding out my hand to all the other women in this world along the way...


I dance cause I love
Dance cause I dream
Dance cause I’ve had enough
Dance to stop the screams
Dance to break the rules
Dance to stop the pain
Dance to turn it upside down
Its time to break the chain, oh yeah
Break the Chain
Dance, rise
Dance, rise  
 
~One Billion Rising anthem, by Tena Clark 



small stone: Rise

My heart soars.
Women rising, men rising.
Calling for an end to the broken bodies, broken spirits, broken hearts
of women and girls, everywhere.
The drums beat. The voices chant: Break the silence. Break the chain.
My body joined in dance with thousands in my community,
in spirit with the rest of the world.
No care for color, size, political bent.
Simply united harmony, for this one moment.
For this one cause.
For women and girls everywhere to feel safe, supported, respected.
Rise, sisters and brothers, rise.


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

waiting for brilliance: a small stone

words bang into corners in my head
fingertips wait,
unable to make heads or tails
something is lost in the translation

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

random small stone

heart yearning
soul singing
ears listening
dreams calling...
the sweet silence of night reminds me
of who I am
who I will be
fears melt...
I become.


Monday, February 4, 2013

strike, dance, RISE



ONE IN THREE WOMEN ON THE PLANET WILL BE RAPED OR BEATEN IN HER LIFETIME.

ONE BILLION WOMEN VIOLATED IS AN ATROCITY

ONE BILLION WOMEN DANCING IS A REVOLUTION

On V-Day’s 15th Anniversary, 14 February 2013, we are inviting ONE BILLION women and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to this violence. ONE BILLION RISING will move the earth, activating women and men across every country. V-Day wants the world to see our collective strength, our numbers, our solidarity across borders.

What does ONE BILLION look like? On 14 February 2013, it will look like a REVOLUTION.




The Victims:
  • One in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.
  • Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.
  • Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men
  • Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
  • Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.


The Families:
  • Every year, more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes.
  • Children who live in homes where there is domestic violence also suffer abuse or neglect at high rates (30% to 60%).
  • A 2003 study found that children are more likely to intervene when they witness severe violence against a parent – which can place a child at great risk for injury or even death.


ONE BILLION RISING IS:

A global strike
An invitation to dance
A call to men and women to refuse to participate in the status quo until rape and rape culture ends
An act of solidarity, demonstrating to women the commonality of their struggles and their power in numbers
A refusal to accept violence against women and girls as a given
A new time and a new way of being 


JOIN AN EVENT NEAR YOU:



I will be rising up in Atlanta, GA on February 14th, at noon EST.  I refuse to watch as more than a billion women experience violence on the planet. It is time to end it:  for ourselves, our sisters, our mothers, our daughters. Enough.



Sunday, February 3, 2013

small stone sunday

Hiding behind a larger bloom,
a tiny bud thinks of opening...
but waits for another day.

Friday, February 1, 2013

a wing


I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible;
to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.

~Dawna Markova




Thursday, January 31, 2013

flawed, fabulous, gorgeous love




a story no one tells



... I'll be singing like an angel
Until I'm six feet deep.


small stone: day thirty-one

brown edges curl upward, veins frozen in time
reaching towards the breaking sun, much like my soul


(Thank you, readers, for traveling with me through this month's journey of mindful writing. It has been full of lessons, honor, and beauty.)

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

small stone: day thirty

Thick dove-grey clouds make a mad dash across the heavens. Little birds push against the wind, their bodies rising and dipping on the swirling currents. Rain spits down from the uncertain sky-  tiny drops of liquid that feel so cool on my skin in the warm, heavy air that presses against me. In the distance, a siren briefly wails its warning, only to fall silent again as danger wanes.


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

wings made of wishes


Don't let the blues stop you singing
Darling, you've only got a broken wing
Hey, you just hang on to my rainbow
Hang on to my rainbow
Hang on to my rainbow sleeves...


small stone: day twenty-nine


This little seed has struggled for so long and it is crying for nurturing and air.
It's tired of being squished up inside.
Reach for the sky, little seedling.
I'll not hold you back any longer.
Time to unfurl your leaves.
Time to let your flowers come forth.
Time to turn your face up to the sun.
It's time. It's time. It's time.


Monday, January 28, 2013

small stone: day twenty-eight

silent v flying overhead in a sky of grey
moving south
for a pond or a patch of winter grass
my heart soars with them
to destinations unknown


Sunday, January 27, 2013

small stone: day twenty-seven

There are days I curse my head.
The busy. The old tapes that incessantly play...
The could-haves, should-haves, would-haves,
if only.
Too many words, but not enough words.
Too much music, but never enough music.
Freedom calls to me like the birds that wing their way to somewhere,
anywhere.
Bring me there.
Give me those wings that will make me soar.
Loosen up my voice to fly on the wind.
Like those birds that wing their way to somewhere,
anywhere.
Bring me there.


Saturday, January 26, 2013

small stone: day twenty-six

Wispy clouds streak the robin's egg blue sky. Geese call raucously to each other as they fly in formation overhead. The sun infuses my soul with golden light and warmth. Giggles erupt from the toddler who sits to the side of me, in a rocket ship disguised as our Japanese Maple tree.



Friday, January 25, 2013

small stone: day twenty-five

The chill morning offers me its icy kisses,
taking my warmth in return.
The only movement in the grey clouds above
is the silent winging of four birds of prey.


Thursday, January 24, 2013

fire in the belly





small stone: day twenty-four

Bone-chilled for days.
Then: gorgeous words resonating in my head, a stunning meditation giving breath.
Finally, a glowing coal inside, warming me from within.
Hello, inner spark. I have missed you. Let us not become cold strangers again.


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

small stone: day twenty-three

Breaking dawn...
An owl hoots in greeting.
Midnight blue shifts gracefully to make way for the sun.


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

small stone: day twenty-two

My throat wants to open up in song but my voice can't break free.
My hips want to move, but the dance is frozen inside.
My hands want to write all the words they know my head contains, but nothing comes forth.

I feel landlocked, with a sea of things just waiting before me.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

small stone: day nineteen

Brilliant red-gold glory. The sun rises, turning the frost into a blanket of glitter. A lone bird flies over, its wings glinting in the breaking dawn.




Friday, January 18, 2013

small stone: day eighteen

Rays of sunshine broke free from their cloudy prison today. Warm, bright light... blue skies... icy bursts of air that cut through clothing, chilling and sharp. The dichotomy of the heat of the sun and the cold of the wind. Such is life, sometimes.


Thursday, January 17, 2013

small stone: day seventeen

there's something a bit obscene
about a lawn that is lush and green
when winter hangs cold and barren



Wednesday, January 16, 2013



small stone: day sixteen

I stand, bare feet in a puddle. The earth smells rich and damp; the air, crisp and fresh. Silvery drops cling to bare branches, then free fall to the ground. My face is tickled by feather-light, watery kisses. The sky has been falling for three days now... sweet, blessed rain.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

gone tomorrow, gone yesterday


Long way going to
Get my medicine
Sky's the autumn grey of a lonely wren


small stone: day fifteen

Frustrations run high today.
With circumstances, with life... with myself.
Tears threaten to fall, but if they do, they may not stop.
Sinking into feeling.
And I don't want to go there.
Bury my head in the sand.
Encase my heart in stone.
Build the walls, tear them down, build them back up again.
Open, says my soul.
Open, says my heart.
The cracks are where the light gets in, they say...
But I'm not feeling the light today.
Just the shatter.


Monday, January 14, 2013

small stone: day fourteen

Her warm body snuggles close, her trusting face looking up at me. My eyes gaze down at her, holding a galaxy of love. My sweet little girl and I pull each other close... knowing that there will be many more moments just as precious as this one, but none will ever be this exact moment. Treasuring the sound of her little voice whispering, "I love you, Mama."

Saturday, January 12, 2013

a wish tossed in the sea

small stone: day twelve

Peppered with moss patches, the old sentinel still stands, strong and proud. Its twisted, gnarled branches reach tall into the sky and hang over the road. The misty fog wraps around the tree, and envelops my car as I drive past. A quiet moment of peace and history on a winter's morning.



Friday, January 11, 2013

small stone: day eleven

The air is thick... heavy for a January morn. Light raindrops fall as though being flicked from someone's fingertips high above. The grey surrounds me but does not penetrate my being. Inside, a small spark ignites. Ideas flutter in my head; promises of things to come.



Thursday, January 10, 2013

you spin me right round baby right round

My head is spinning with possibilities and the drive to "do", to learn, to create. There are so many things I want to explore and work on. They are all related, which is a fortunate blessing, but I find myself in a very familiar space of wondering how to do it all. Long term, short term, immediate. They all bombard me with, "Now! Now! Me, me... Pick me, pick me!"

Ah. Yes, I've been here before. ::looks around:: Yep, this is usually where I collapse, hide my head, come up with a dozen excuses, and end up not doing anything.

I need to push through this. I need to not let the pressure override my momentum.

Must. Keep. Going.

But it scares me.

Which, of course, means that I need to do it all the more. Like giving birth, I have no choice. I have to keep going, and eventually, I'll see the fruit of my labor.

Keep pushing.

Breathing.

Trusting.

Being.

Becoming.







small stone: day ten

chill black to midnight blue, wakening to shades of periwinkle
the sky lightens, bringing with it my heart
soul singing with the joy of a new dawn



Wednesday, January 9, 2013

the voices of those who stand looking



And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last...


small stone: day nine

drums beat
hips sway
slow and gentle,
then staccato sharp
skirts fly
a dip, a turn
undulations to the music
a secret in the eyes,
music in the hands
a heartbeat
the dance


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

small stone: day eight

Crisp and grey, the day settles over me like the creaking bones of a crone. The dried leaves wave in the breeze-  the tattered ends of her shawl.

Monday, January 7, 2013

small stone: day seven

The well of inspiration runs a bit dry today; words won't come easily. The feeling of stagnation sits uneasily inside me. Oh, for a bit of fire in the head, fire in the heart, fire in the belly! 

Perhaps tomorrow The Muse will wrap her feathery arms about me, and whisper sweet somethings in my ear.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

sleepwalking

small stone: day six

world spinning
aching for control
over something, over anything
siren's call to sweet emptiness
surrender, fade
until i shrink
into nothingness


Saturday, January 5, 2013

small stone: day five

Will you sing me the song of me
when my heart weighs heavy like stone?
Will you sing me the song of me
when my voice is caught up in webs?
Will you sing me the song of me?

And the voice whispers: Inhale. Exhale.
Your song is always there, floating around you,
as the sweet caress of a gentle breeze,
the wild embrace of a strong gale.
Listen.
Listen.
Sing.

Friday, January 4, 2013

reach in and set it free


Poor little dreamer
Stand inside the door
You can't find the easy rhymes
Of times you had before

It hurts my heart so bad
Seeing you sigh and shake
Broken down so low - so sad
I can't let you break

Cry to me - Cry to me
You better not hide it
Let it come - let it bleed
I ain't laughing - reach in and get it
And set it free
Cry to me - Cry to me

The glass is empty and the wine
Is bitter on your tongue
People don't seen wild and fine
Like when you were young

You're lonesome over a stormy ocean
Lost in the rain and wind
We can clear these clouds away
And feel the sun again...


small stone: day four

Tendrils reach, feathery and curling. No roots to bind you. Living only through the air and sunlight that surround you. There is grace in your simplicity... sage green peace in your existence.


Thursday, January 3, 2013

small stone: day 3

Burst of scarlet red standing strong amid curling decay. Spot of brightness bringing warmth to the cold, both within and without. My heart gladdened by the flower that blooms in winter; the promise of things to come.


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

small stone: day two (mindful writing challenge 2013)

"Pickles", she said. "Pickles aren't for breakfast", said I.
And thought better of it.
So, pickles it was. Seedy tang. Spring green. Zesty, sharp. A bright contrast to a winter's morn. A sweet little face screwed up into a pucker.
Doing something unexpected.  In a small way, but sometimes the small ways matter most.



Tuesday, January 1, 2013

small stone day 1 (mindful writing challenge 2013)

Yesterday's coppery leaves still cling to the branches. This morning's raindrops hover next to them... shimmery, silvery  cleansing droplets. Both just waiting for the right moment to fall, to reach their next state of being upon the Earth.

Fall, embrace, become.