"I hope you will go out and let stories happen to you, and that you will work them, water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. " ~Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Friday, May 31, 2013

ramblings


life spins so fast
a demented merry go 'round
sometimes crazy fun
sometimes just plain insanity
a moment to catch your breath
the next, to lose it

my heart... what do i say of it?
it's big. it's bold. it's open. (sometimes slammed shut... tight... closed for business)
perhaps, at times, too much of all of the above
i'm not sure that it fits in this world
what i want is not what we're supposed to want
certainly not what we're supposed to do

i want the stars, the moon, the sun
pulsing, glowing, brilliance
i want...
i just....
want


Monday, May 27, 2013

flames burn the wood slow






a small stone, full of cracks

sitting still in the moment, looking for the wisdom
taking inventory of my cracks, wondering where the light will come in
it always does, you know
though sometimes a bit filtered... hesitant light coming through still-heavy storm clouds


Thursday, May 16, 2013

whirlpool: a small stone



words are lost in a myriad of thoughts
emotions swirl like eddies in the sea of me
reaching into the whirlpool
i try to grab a few
hoping they'll come together
into something that makes sense



Monday, May 13, 2013

you got this, woman


Tonight is a night where I find myself struggling as an artist. One of those moments when I am faced with just how much I have to learn... and it is overwhelming. I am throwing my hands up to the Universe and letting the words fly:

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BLOODY HELL I AM DOING!

I need to figure out production. I need to refresh my memory on music theory. I need to work on my ear. I need to take piano lessons. I need to get better on guitar.  I need to bloody work on my vocals.  

In other words:  I need to go back to school. Somehow, some way I will figure it out. I've been taking MOOC classes, but it's not enough. I need a good, solid program. Berklee. I want to be in you.

Feeling so utterly discouraged right now, but at the same time, utterly determined. I can do this. I know I can. This cat always lands on her feet, and there is no way in hell I'm going to give up on this. Must keep putting one foot in front of the other.




Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.  ~Louis Pasteur


Monday, May 6, 2013

one ray at a time

Popped a large, whole strawberry in my mouth. Pushed my tongue into the center of it, letting it come apart, juices spilling in tart sweetness. A mouthful of joy.

Summer is coming, loves. In all its heat, beauty, and passion. Let the sun shine in.


a small raindrop stone


If I cross my eyes just so, the brake lights in front of me turn the raindrops into starry red glitter, dancing across my windshield.



Sunday, May 5, 2013

hush now. or don't.

There are times when my heart and soul scream out to express things. And my logic screams back, "Shut the bloody eff up before someone hears you!"

Be quiet, girl.

You aren't supposed to think that.

You aren't supposed to feel that.

You aren't supposed to be that.

Girl, just be quiet.




Damn, if this woman isn't tired of being quiet.




Friday, May 3, 2013

morning's song and dance: a small stone

I stand at the window, watching the sky shift
Midnight blue to sapphire
Sapphire to cornflower
Birds swoop and dive
Savoring their morning dance with each other
Chittering their hellos, squawking their warnings
 - Lay off, buddy, that's my breakfast -
As the light comes, they greet the sun with a song
The colors make one last change,
    a simple light blue that carries promises,

And dawn is here.